


december 13th: turkey for two

by watergator



Series: december fic advent 2018 [13]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 16:28:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16978020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watergator/pseuds/watergator
Summary: prompt: punsdan and phil have a mini christmas dinner together





	december 13th: turkey for two

When Phil had returned home from a quick pop to tescos for milk and cereal, only to walk through the door with a good few heavy bags in his grip and a wide smile on his face, Dan knew something was up.  
  
“What are you doing?” Dan asks, not getting up to help Phil who struggles to the kitchen with the heavy load that he plonks down heavily onto the small island.  
  
“Surprise. Close your eyes,” Phil tells him, slightly breathless.   
  
Dan snorts and closes his eyes, his phone dropping out of his grip and onto his lap. His lips twitch into a small smile when he hears the sound of Phil rummaging around the kitchen along with the flap of plastic bags.  
  
“Phil, what are you actually doing? You better not be destroying the kitchen,” Dan tells him in a warning tone, eyes still closed, but he hears Phil tut from across the room.  
  
“Wait,” he says back, and Dan does.  
  
Eventually Dan is told to open his eyes, and when he does he stands to walk towards where Phil is stood in their kitchen.  
  
There on the small marble kitchen counter island is an array of food. In the middle sits a plump looking turkey wrapped up in plastic.  
  
“A… turkey?” Dan questions, looking up at Phil who has a smile on his face.

“Mmh hmm, we’re gonna cook it,” he tells him with nod, looking rather pleased with himself.  
  
Dan can’t help the smile that creeps across his face. “I assumed that. But why?”  
  
Phil’s smile drops and he rolls his eyes with a sigh,   
  
“We’re having a mini Christmas dinner. Me and you. And turkey,” Phil says, slapping a hand on the uncooked bird.  
  
Dan raises his brows high, “You wanna cook a Christmas dinner? Phil, it’s only the middle of December, what are you on about?”  
  
Phil shakes his head. “It’ll be cute. You need to help me though,” he says pulling his phone out of his back jeans pocket. “We’ll need to start now if we wanna eat for later.”  
  
Dan chuckles, but agrees nonetheless. 

*

After a long, long handful of hours, along with a good few swears, spills, fuck-ups and burnt fingers, their little Christmas dinner is done.  
  
“Just putting it out there, I don’t think this is as good as my mum’s,” Dan tells him, wiping his greasy hands on an old dish rag.   
  
“Shut up and lay the table,” Phil instructs him as he throws a potato pot haphazardly into the sink.  
  
Just as Dan sets down the two sets of forks and knives and two wine glasses in their places, Phil follows after with a box in his hands.  
  
“What’s that?” Dan asks as he straightens out the fork on the table just as Phil puts it down.  
  
“Crackers. Christmas crackers,” he grins with enthusiasm.   
  
Dan grins with a roll of his eyes, “Really? We’re really doing the whole fake Christmas dinner thing?”  
  
Phil nods quickly, before prying open the box on the table to reveal the pretty decorated crackers that lay neatly in the box.  
  
Dan picks it up, some spilling over onto the table with a frown,  
  
“Phil, this is a box of twenty,” he looks up at Phil with his brows knitted together, “why the hell did you get twenty? Are you planning a week long dinner?” He asks, his voice lacking any real anger.  
  
Phil laughs, his tongue poking out from his teeth, the same laugh and smile that still manages to make Dan’s heart flutter dangerously in his chest.  
  
Dan just shakes his head fondly.  
  
They pile their plates up with heaps of turkey and Phil spoons a good handful of potatoes onto their plates, alongside a fair few vegetables and a scattering of pigs-in-blankets (Dan had nearly drooled once he caught sight of them being pulled from the oven) and once they’re settled at their seats with their food, the candle burns warmly between them and their glasses full of red wine, they clink them together with a cheers and bright smiles.  
  
“I can’t believe we made a Christmas dinner and it didn’t burn,” Phil says in wonderment as he looks down at the meal at his plate.  
  
Dan snorts his laugh, “Technically it’s just a roast dinner, Christmas dinners are for Christmas.”  
  
Phil gives him a look, like he wants to smack him on the arm, but refrains from doing so.  
  
“We have Christmas crackers; they make it more Christmassy,” Phil tells him as he picks the one between them up in his hand.  
  
Dan forks in a mouthful of turkey into his mouth and frowns. “Now?” he asks, muffled by the food in his mouth.  
  
“Yeah!” Phil grins, “I want Christmas hats!”  
  
Dan swallows down his food and pretends to look annoyed but he can feel his lips tug into a smile as he takes his half of the cracker in his hand, setting his fork down against his plate.  
  
“Fine,” he says holding it firm. “Go.”  
  
They both pull and Dan wins. He gives a whoop of triumph as he pulls out his orange hat and out falls a useless plastic toy and a tiny shred of paper. Phil plucks it up eagerly.  
  
“Christmas jokes!” he exclaims as he reads it over. Dan’s already placed his hat over his curls and begun to tuck back into his dinner. He wriggles his knife at Phil’s untouched plate.  
  
“Mate, you gonna eat or what?” he asks but Phil ignores him and places the paper down on the table.  
  
“Dan,” he says suddenly, “What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck down a chimney?” he asks.  
  
Dan sets his fork down once more, and pretends to think.  
  
“Uh, I dunno, dehydration. Starvation. Smoke inhalation. Respiratory failure?” Dan says, looking at where Phil slumps his shoulders and his smile drops.  
  
“Okay,” Dan laughs. “Sorry, go on with your crappy joke,” he tells him.  
  
Phil picks up the tiny paper in his hands again and grins, “ _Claus_ trophobia!”  
  
Dan groans. “That’s so bad.”  
  
Phil laughs again. “Pull another with me, I need a hat.”  
  
Dan reluctantly reaches for another cracker, this time when it’s pulled, he lets Phil win it, and this time a purple hat falls out, a dice and another joke.  
  
“No more crappy jokes,” Dan warns him as he watches Phil fix his hat over his hair.  
  
But Phil doesn’t listen and instead picks up the paper to read it. “This one is you Dan,” Phil smiles as he reads it over.  
  
“Go on then,” Dan prompts him.  
  
“Why was Santa’s elf feeling depressed?”  
  
Dan fakes a look of shock and hurt. “What the hell?” He laughs.  
  
“Because he had low ‘ _elf_ ’ esteem!” Phil leans forward with a grin and Dan hiccups a laugh.  
  
“Oh my god, these are so bad!” He giggles with a shake of his head.   
  
“We still have eighteen more to get through,” Phil tells him and Dan shakes his head.  
  
“No. No more horrible puns,” Dan warns him as Phil picks up his fork and shovels in a potato into his mouth.  
  
“One more,” Phil says after he’s swallowed his food down. “Who hides in a bakery during Christmas?”  
  
Dan looks at Phil with a shake of his head, “I dunno, who?”  
  
“A mince _spy_.”  
  
Dan groans again and places his knife and fork back down on the table. “Get out. Just get out,” he says dramatically with a flap of his arms.  
  
Phil just laughs and leans over with his fork and steals a pig-in-blanket whilst he’s not looking.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr !! @watergator


End file.
